A Letter to My Blue Blanket

Dear Blanket,

You have been with me for more than ten years. I remember my mom buying you in the States; I was five years old then. You were blue, you were butterfly-ish, you were flowery, and you were a soft new blanket. I really loved your softness, which was slightly different from that of other blankets. You covered me both in summer and winter because I loved you so much. Then I brought you from the States and moved you inside the hectic and heterogeneous school, KMLA.

You have been my cheering and consoling companion in KMLA. The hectic tick-tocking of KMLA schedule, as it did to everyone else, often drained out my energy. When I listened to a lecture in my 1^st study period and spent the 2^nd study period for club activity and then returned to my room, you always gladly greeted me and covered me with your soft, blue body. I became a long, blue caterpillar after you covered me. Your butterfly patches softly hugged me as would a mother hug her daughter. You truly restored my energy whenever I felt exhausted. Without you, I would have felt very hard to continue my study in this busy school.

You have been my shell of self-regard during most of my KMLA years. I found out that KMLA is a very heterogeneous school, with many students having different characters and different abilities. I often felt a sense of inferiority by comparing myself to other students. Sometimes other students seemed perfect and I seemed to be very inferior. Whenever I was depressed by such feeling, you called me with your sweet voice and covered me with your soft fabric. You told me to not compare myself to totally different others and to focus on my abilities. Your flowery patches ensured me a flowery future; inside your soft touch, I was imagining me fully realizing my abilities.

Nowadays, I feel that I am growing. I feel uncomfortable when I am a blue caterpillar, when I am covered with your soft fabric. The caterpillar skin was once very comfortable and consoling, but I feel too big to be confined inside the blue caterpillar. I feel that I should become a cocoon instead of a caterpillar, and turn into a butterfly, just like your butterfly patch. I came to realize that the flowery future you provided was an imagination and that I should turn into a butterfly to make the flowery imagination a reality.

Thank you for being my consoling companion. Thank you for protecting me from my self-destroying sense of inferiority. Thank you for being my butterfly-patched mother. Thank you for providing me an image of a flowery future. But I know that I cannot remain a blue caterpillar forever. I must grow up. Maybe now is the time to say good-bye.

Good bye, my old friend, my butterfly, my blue blanket.

Sincerely,

Na Yeon Kim